Man submission

I heard it again the other day.  A couple was speaking in church about marital relationships, and she got to talk about submission, since that is after all a woman’s role.  I thought, “Here we go again.” 

Does anyone get the fact that when Paul tells the wife in Ephesians 5 to submit to her husband, that he is in fact expanding and clarifying his direction that we “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”  (Eph. 5:21)  Also, that the requirements of this mutual submission for the husband are actually greater, since he is to sacrificially love his wife to the same degree as Christ loved the church (i.e., up to and including laying down his life, I presume). 

To some guys this might seem like a lot to ask, but let me suggest that there is a benefit here that we miss if don't look at the larger context.  In fact, the admonition to submit to one another is one of a series of participles which themselves are explanations of how precisely to accomplish what Paul is really talking about.  Along with speaking to one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs; singing and making music in your heart to the Lord; and always giving thanks to God the father for everything, this mutual submission is one of the ways in which we are to be filled with the Spirit, the imperative command in verse 18.  If you keep working backward you discover that this is one of the ways that you accomplish God’s will for you (Do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is, v.17)

Why can this be motivational?  Well, quite apart from what should be our desire to live the will of God in our lives, the doing so is something that in fact will have a positive effect on our eternity.  In Luke 12, Jesus makes this very clear in the parable of the wise manager.  In one of the many passages which reminds us that Christians, too, will face a judgment according to how they behave here (See 1 Cor 3:10-15, 2 Cor. 5:10, among others), Jesus underscores in a negative way that our accomplishing the will of God is part and parcel of what we can do in our lives here to effect the quality of our eternity.

"That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” (Luke 12:47,48)

So, back to Ephesians, and here I’m talking to you guys out there since the women get enough of this.  So far we have this: the submission to your wife which takes the form of sacrificially loving her is one of the ways that you (take that as a personal pronoun or having to do with your marriage, or both) are filled with the Spirit, which is God’s will for you.  Accomplishing God’s will benefits you for all of eternity.  Furthermore, this verb “to fill” is in the present tense, indicating an ongoing activity, not just a one time event.  Which makes particular sense in light of where this whole thing begins, which is Paul telling us to “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”  (5:15,16) 

The bottom line, guys:  Every day brings opportunities to sacrifice for your wife.  To make it about her, not about you.  To my mind, that’s not just offering spiritual leadership and financial provision, but to rent the movie she wants, go the restaurant she likes, etc. etc.  Will there be sacrifice to that for you, sometimes?  Sure, but guess what—you get the long term (really long term) benefit from that as it helps to shape your eternity. 

Don’t be foolish.  Understand what the Lord’s will is.  Make the most of every opportunity every day to be filled with the Spirit by playing your part in the process of mutual submission and sacrificing something for your wife so she knows that she is the most loved woman on the face of the earth.  That will all be part and parcel of the “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” that you’ll someday hear, and you won’t regret it.  Not for any of the instants that make up your eternity.