Brad's Bistro

15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

18"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Step 1: Re-read verse 15. What would be the advantage to keeping it between the two of you?

Step 2: Re-read verse 16. How would bringing in a third party help the person who has sinned against us?

Step 3: Re-read the first half of verse 17. What can the church do together to help the process of restoration? (hint: see verse 19)

The Last Resort: Re-read the last half of verse 17. Jesus tells us we treat the completely non-repentant sinner just like we would two other groups of people. Who are they?

How do you think Jesus treated these kinds of people? How can we follow his example? (hint: see Matthew 9:9-13)

Our Real Job: Re-read verse 18. In the church we are all on a spiritual journey and we’re all in a different place on that path. Sometimes, though, people take a wrong direction for awhile. When that happens, our job is to “bind and “loose”.

Just in case we don’t get it: What story precedes this instruction in the gospel of Matthew? What story follows it? What can we conclude about what Matthew is trying to teach us from the context?

The goal of this lesson is to get us to see that when someone sins against us in the church Jesus wants us to work at the job of restoring them into fellowship and right relationship with God, not judging or condemning them.

Step 1: Re-read verse 15. What would be the advantage to keeping it between the two of you?

In being confronted by something you’ve done wrong, it is much less threatening if it only comes from one person. Particularly if it is the one that you sinned against, because they already know about it anyway. In that way, no-one else is brought into it and if it can be dealt with just between the two of you, the damage to their reputation and ego is minimized. Here is a good place to establish for your group the standard of always going straight to the person you have a problem with rather than talking about it to anyone else.

Step 2: Re-read verse 16. How would bringing in a third party help the person who has sinned against us?

This verse refers to an Old Testament passage that was designed to ensure that accusations were based on more than just hearsay or personal opinion. Talk about the importance of making sure that these people are mature and trustworthy, especially in regards to their inclination to gossip (or hopefully lack thereof).

Many times emotions run high in these situations and your own perception of things can be clouded. Having a neutral third party there could easily help you sort out the situation with greater objectivity as well as determine what the offending person’s motivations were. Strong emotions can act as filters, making it difficult for us to see the situation from someone else’s perspective.

Step 3: Re-read the first half of verse 17. What can the church do together to help the process of restoration? (hint: see verse 19)

It can be easy to read this and think that we need to use the church body as some kind of a tribunal to judge this person’s actions. But look at verse 19 to realize that what Jesus is really talking about is calling the body together to pray. One of the points to this passage is that when the body gathers together to pray Jesus promises to be there and the “pipeline” to God through prayer is as direct as it ever gets. When faced with the works of the enemy in people’s lives in the church, we need to make sure that we are getting the power of God involved to work toward restoring that person to a right relationship with God and his people.

The Last Resort: Re-read the last half of verse 17. Jesus tells us we treat the completely non-repentant sinner just like we would two other groups of people. Who are they?

How do you think Jesus treated these kinds of people? How can we follow his example? (hint: see Matthew 9:9-13)

Here is where we get to the heart of the matter and what has caused a great deal of hurt and confusion in the church over the years. Our first inclination is to think that we need to kick them out of the church, or at least not associate with them. Some churches in the past have even made this a policy, calling it “the ban” or something similar. But if you read the other passage in Matthew from chapter 9, you see clearly that Matthew wants us to know that rather than refusing fellowship with these kinds of people, Jesus intentionally moves into their world, establishing relationships with them. That is our goal: to build relationships with them in order that they might establish a relationship with Christ. In other words, we treat them like an unbeliever because that is essentially how they are acting—like people who need to have a relationship with Christ. So we go back to square one and behave toward them in basically an evangelistic manner. We love them, build relationships with them, invite them to church and other functions, and try to show concern and care for their needs. Another passage that you might want to look at is John 16:8-11 which makes it clear that it is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict the world of sin and to judge them, not ours. Since that is how we are treating these people, make sure that your group knows that it is not their job to judge or condemn, but to love back into relationship with God and fellowship with the church.

This is the second time we find the terms “binding and loosing” in Matthew, the first being after Peter’s great confession and Jesus’ declaration which essentially establishes the church in chapter 16. There is some debate about what these terms mean, but for this lesson, the two questions are treating “binding” as what we hold each other accountable to in the church—things like right living and treating each other with love. In the context of our previous discussion, what we need to underscore in regards to “loosing” is that we are free from judgment and condemnation in the church. We live under grace and in a fellowship that is all about restoring relationships, not condemning people for their sin.

Just in case we don’t get it: What story precedes this instruction in the gospel of Matthew? What story follows it? What can we conclude about what Matthew is trying to teach us from the context?

One of values of this lesson is to learn the importance of seeing these things in their context and how much that can help us get at what the author is really saying. The story that precedes this is the parable of the lost sheep where Jesus goes out after the one straying sheep to bring them back into the fold. Following this passage is the parable of the unmerciful servant which basically has as it’s point that we are the ones who will be judged if we refuse to forgive our brothers and not show them mercy. We are told to forgive “70 times 7” times, a euphemism for basically however many times it takes. Given that this passage is sandwiched between these two others by Matthew, there is virtually no chance that it could be talking about kicking people out of church, so it helps us to determine what the real point is.

End with a discussion of how your group can agree to taking these kinds of steps when someone sins against someone else. Make sure that as a group you are always committed to a process of restoration and reconciliation rather than judgment and condemnation.